As today’s generation Z plunges into the digital world, new words are being added so quickly that the middle-aged world is at a crossroads. Although these two words are a little old, they have come back into use nowadays. One of them is ‘gaslighting’ and the other is ‘moonlighting’. ‘Gaslighting’ is the deliberate creation of a deceptive situation in which the other person is made to believe that he is mentally impaired and unable to make sound decisions. By preparing such a mental environment properly, the desired work is taken from that person. There was an Oscar-winning movie years ago based on such ’emotional abuse’ mental torture, which was called: ‘Gaslighting’!
Now there is another word: ‘moonlighting’ meaning not ‘moonlighting’, but doing extra work over and above the original job, of which the original owner is not aware. …the extra work done keeping it in the dark, which gives you extra income. Now a third new word has been added to these two. That is ‘ghosting.’ At first glance, it is clear from this word that it must have something related to ‘ghost’. To some extent it is so. The relationship is like ‘mind-pearl and glass’. Once cracked, it can hardly be reattached. The term ‘ghosting’ is used for the behavior where you are in a romantic relationship with someone, in daily contact and suddenly the other person cuts off contact with you for some unknown reason, avoids replying to your messages, avoids even talking on the phone, but why? Called ‘ghosting’?
The term has become particularly popular today, especially in the age of online dating, for a relationship with someone that suddenly ends like a ghost, said to suddenly disappear, disappear and disappear. In fact, this word was used for the first time in 1990 i.e. 33 years ago. Then ‘Merriam-Webster’ dictionary gave it an official place in 2017. Incidentally, along with this word another word is also in vogue today. That is ‘soft ghosting’ i.e. instead of cutting off contact with the other person in one fell swoop, the method of gradually reducing the relationship is called ‘soft ghosting’. Minimize meeting before, don’t answer the message quickly, give less if you give, pick up the phone only once if you get a continuous call from the front. Hardly any response to her posts on social media, etc.
There are other words like ‘ghosting’, such as ‘Casparing’, which comes from ‘Kaspar’, the son of Phantom, the fictional super hero of the comic strips…. Kaspar is considered a benevolent ghost. To end a relationship, the process of falling out of love with a similar ghost-like person is known as ‘casparing’! To break the specter of ‘ghosting’, some other opposite words are also known among today’s young generation. For example, ‘breadcrumbing’… sending a romantic-flirting message to get the other person’s attention without any particular interest in pursuing a relationship, giving the indirect impression that ‘I’m interested in you’ is easily forgotten as if dusting off clothes later. But go. Such behavior is known as ‘breadcrumbing’.
Another interesting term in this category is ‘submarining’ which means that after someone has ghosted you and you have forgotten about it, suddenly the ghosting person starts contacting you through message-phone as if they were in the past. Nothing happened from the side. In other words, like a submarine that first dives into the sea of relationship and disappears and later resurfaces like a submarine!
The overuse of ‘ghosting’ on online dating apps has led to unwanted rifts in many relationships. To prevent this, some popular dating apps like ‘Tame’, ‘Tinder’, ‘Bumble’ or ‘OK Cupid’ also provide special guidance to their users. Instead of ‘ghosting’ with the person with whom the relationship is to be cut off, such apps show how not to hurt the feelings of the other party. With what kind of text to put a full stop on the relationship with it prepares its raw drafts! Thus, in today’s era of online dating, many words like ghosting and its contradictions keep coming and going in the ‘Generation Z’ generation of today’s youth.
However, suppose you (or a friend of yours) are ‘a victim of such ghosting?’
Answer number one in the parlance of today’s youth: ‘NBD… meaning no big deal.. no big deal… if this is the case… forget it!’ Even so, if someone breaks up with you without giving a reason, there is a hidden wound on the mind, if not a bruise. What does a psychiatrist have to say about easing the wounds of ghosting in such circumstances? Abrupt termination of communication, messaging, without any reason or explanation, occurs in 3 types of relationships. Such ghosting happens in love-friendship or work-business.
In the digital age it has become easier to suddenly disappear from one’s life and in such an act the ghoster is more responsible and the only one who knows why they did it. On the other hand, the victims of ghosting do not know the reason, so psychologists advise to take it easy and forget it.
‘Should the victim contact the ghosting face-to-face after this happens?’ In reply the psychiatrist says: “Yes, if you have a long relationship, then you should meet or contact in another way and ask the reason… otherwise there is no need to ask the reason.” Erase that relationship from your mind…
You you!” However, one basic question keeps creeping in everyone’s mind: ‘What is really in the mind of those who end the relationship suddenly and ghosting?’ “A lot.” Adds the psychiatrist: “One reason: the ghoster himself doesn’t know what he’s cutting into the relationship? Second reason: Most such decisions are made on the spur of the moment and hastily and third reason: There is no one to confide in and hence ghosting is quick and easy in today’s digital age!” If there is, then there is a simple and accurate way to get out of it:
‘Forget everything…. The night passed. Don’t Worry, Be Happy!’